Let’s Talk Tatas

This blog entry needs to start with a disclaimer.  And, it might not be the one you’re expecting.  The one about how it’s been too long since my last post, and all my excuses for why it’s been that long.

Nope, it’s the one about the vernacular I’m going to use for what physicians commonly refer to as “breasts”.  While I know that is the technical, official and appropriate terms for the upper “lady parts”, I prefer not to use that term.  It’s too clinical for the girls that I have become well acquainted with since, oh, about the fourth grade.  So, I prefer to use “tatas”, “the girls”, “cleavage”, or the old faithful “boobs”.  Call it what you will, probably awkward and immature.  But at least not stuffy or formal.  Anyway, that’s the disclaimer.  I’m about to write an entry about bras, and since we need to discuss the objects that typically fill said bras, we’ve gotta have something.  And I’m probably not going to use “breasts”.  Proceed if you like….

If you’re a woman, then like most women, you do not enjoy bra shopping.  And you understand the delicate process of finding the perfect bra.  And once you find the perfect bra, you stick with it.  I know a woman who found her bra years ago, and now just goes into the department store, finds the box containing her bra, and gets out as quickly as possible.  That’s right, I said box.  That’s how long ago she found her “perfect bra”.  And the crazy thing is, it’s not a great fit on her.  She wears the straps too tight, and it does nothing for her tatas.  They don’t even fill the cups.  But it’s frustrating to continue to fight to find a right fit, so she just goes with what she knows.

I’ve had this same experience.  Thinking that I’ve found a fit that’s as good as it’s gonna get, only to get sick of it later.  The elastic stretches out, the cups runneth over or get stretched out, the back digs in, and I’m back at Macy’s, Victoria’s Secret, or even Cacique, trying to find a great fit.  And only finding a temporary solution.

That is, until a few years ago.  That’s when a friend invited me to a Bra Party.   A what?, you say.  That’s right, a Bra Party.  You’ve been to parties for kitchenware, candles, jewelry, why not bras?  This is what I told myself to get the guts to go.  Well, that and one of the selling points of this bra is that it is Oprah’s favorite bra.

Now, I don’t know if you watch Oprah, or even remember this episode, but a bunch of years ago, Oprah and her whole staff had a search for the best bra ever.  They had bras sent in from all over the place, and all different shapes and sizes of women tried them out.  And they determined that this Bra Party company (Essential Body Wear) makes the best bras.  And ever since then, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Oprah’s boobs look amazing!  So I thought, if it’s good enough for Oprah, I’ll try it out.

I was expecting it to be awkward, and that I’d have to call out my cup size in front of a bunch of ladies that I had just met.  But it wasn’t like that at all.  The rep, Ebonye, had each woman come to her little display one at a time.  She talked to us about what kinds of bras we typically liked, took our measurements, and then had suggestions for their different styles.  It was great because within about two bra styles, she had me matched.  Truly a custom fit!

And she had us each do a little experiment.  We had to keep on our current bra, go in the bathroom, and put star stickers where our nipples were.  Then, we had to leave the stickers on, and try our shirt on over one her bras.  No joke, the difference in lift and proximity could be measured in inches!  We were all shocked.

And one of my favorite parts of these bras is that they support from the back, sides and back hooks, not from the straps.  So it eliminates pressure on the shoulders.  They also are thick enough to wear under a T shirt without sharing too much information on a chilly day.

They are a little pricey, but if they are well cared for they can last about a year.  I recently placed a new order, and found they are adding some accents to new designs.  A picture is below.  If you are interested check out http://www.essentialbodywear.com

Now, not all of the ladies at the party found these bras to be the best for them.  But what I learned is that there is a quality fit and style of bra out there for every tata.  Oprah’s, mine, and yours.

So keep looking ladies.

The latest new design, the "Kelsey". For "making mountains out of mole hills".

Fav new addition to my collection, the "Stella".

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1 Comment

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One response to “Let’s Talk Tatas

  1. Karen S. :)

    This is such a great idea (though I despise home parties in general…) that I almost went looking for a distributor in my area. Just remembered, though, that my girls aren’t my own, once again. Sigh. So when I’m FINALLY done being knocked up, nursing, and generally letting hormones wreak havoc on me, I’m going to come back to you, Kindle, and say, “what was the name of that company again?” 🙂

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